Nothing but Sense
by alice in a coma
Summary: When two girls land in the world of Harry Potter, what will happen? Nothing serious, I can assure you! Join the adventures of Moira and Sam as they 'commandeer' their way through the halls of Hogwarts.
1. Chapter 1

Nothing But Sense

A nautical nonsense story by HyperHarryPotterGoddesses

**Alaha everyone! It's us, Emiko and Sayuri, otherwise known as the HyperHarryPotterGoddesses. We're new to Fan Fiction, so welcomes are accepted. **

_Happy Birthdays, too! Seeing as Emiko just had one! _

**Yes, and I'm still waiting for my surprised. **

_Oh, heh, yeah…right. _

_Anyway…this is something we've had since last year. It wasn't originally written for Fan Fiction, but we decided that, for the public good, we should post it. _

**Yup. This, you see. Is what we like to call the "Pink Journal." It dictates the time of two young girls as they spend time at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, hanging out with – who else? – Harry, Ron, and Hermione.**

_Well, I think that's all they need to know…_

**Good, now where has Mizuki got to with her phone…?**

Nothing But Sense – Chapter One

Characters: Moira (M) – a young girl of seventeen who travels to Hogwarts

Sam (S) – her BFF, also seventeen years old and a bit naïve

Finny (F) – a friend of their, doesn't appear much

Lifeguard (L) – Captain Hook (C) in disguise

Peter Pan (PP) – Who do you think?

Olivia (O) – Moira's annoying sister

Harry Potter (HP) – self-explanatory

Hermione (H) – yeah…

Dumbledore (D) – If you all don't know then why are you here?

Kit (K) – The young wizard from So You Want to Be a Wizard?

Scene: At the YMCA on a Sunday afternoon. M, S, and F are in the pool.

M: This is boring.

S: Yeah…

F: That life guard is mean.

S: You don't _know _him.

M: Well, he looks mean.

F: I don't know… Doesn't he look familiar?

M: Yeah, sort of.

S: He _does _look familiar

M: But who is he?

F: Can't say.

S: I know! Tom Cruise!

M: (rolls eyes at S)

F: Nu-uh! Brad Pitt!

M: Noooo! I know! Captain Hook! (salutes)

S: yeah! That's who it is! (starts splashing around noisily)

Old woman: Will you stop that!

S: Oops! (swims to lifeguard)

M: (follows – pulling F) Sam…What are you doing?

F: Uh-oh. (sinks)

S: Excuse me?

L: What!

S: Are you Captain Hook?

C: Darn it! How'd you know?

M: The hook.

F: (still underwater) Mbblm…

M: (shakes head)

C: Drat you kids!

P: Don't do that! (soars up behind them)

F: (pops up)

S, F, M: Peter Pan!

P: Yup, that's me! Cock-a-doodle-doo!

S, F, M: Ahhhhh.

C: Drat! My lovely plan foiled! (runs off)

P: Come out of the water?

S: Why?

M: Why?

F: Huh?

P: Just get out.

S: Weeeeeee! (jumps out and runs around)

M: Oh, all right! (hops out, spreads arms and runs around)

F: Hmmmm. A plane! Moira's a plane! (gets out, sits on ground, clapping)

P: Yeah!

O: (walks in) You are all crazy.

P: Yeah!

F: (giggles)

S: Quack!

M: Vroooom!

O: Yup, crazy.

P: Yeah!

O: (shakes head) All right – woof, woof! (walks around on hands and knees – turns into a dog)

F: Ooohhh! Doggie!

P: Well, I leave you in good paws. (O pees on P's leg) Ewwww. (flies away)

S: Awwww. Peter left.

M: Yeah! It's _her _fault! (points to woman)

F: Yeah! Yeah! Get her! (picks up noodle and chases lady around)

W: Help!

M: We should stop Finny!

S: Yeah.

M: Oh well. (S nods and pats O's head)

O: (pees in pool)

Man: Oh, gross! (gets out and leaves)

O: Woof! (runs off)

F: Whahoo! (runs by, lady has left)

S: Hmmm.

M: Hmmm.

F: (pops) Hmmm.

H: Hmmm.

HP: Hmmm.

S: Oh, WOW!!!! Harry Potter!

M: Oh, my, GOD! Harry Potter!

F: (hyperventilating) Har-ry Pott-tter! (faints)

H: Heh! Har-ry Po-tt-tter! (snorts)

HP: (beams)

H: Hello? Hermo-ninny speaking.

S: Who's that?

M: Yeah, who, who?

H: Imbeciles! Hermione Granger.

F: (pops up) Who?

H: Uhhhh! Idiots! Harry and I are here to tell you…

HP: You're coming to Hogwarts!

H: Now, everyone hold hands…

S: With Harry? (faints)

F: (spits pool water on S)

S: Huh! Harry? (everyone holds hands)

H: Hogwarts!

M: Weeeee!

S: Yipeeeee!

F: Whopeee!

P: (flies up beside them) Where ya'll going?

H: To Hogwarts!

C: Where _everyone _grows up! (suddenly popping up then leaving)

P: What?! Noooo! You can't make me! I'll never grow up! NEVER! (flying off)

S: Wait! Peter…I…I love you! (P stops)

P: Uhhh…

M: Well, this is…ah…

F: Very awkward.

M: Put bluntly. Yes.

HP: We're here! (All land in D's office)

P: Noooo! (flies off)

H: What a strange fellow.

HP: (nods) Mmhmm.

M: do you _know _who that was?

S: Yeah!? (still staring where P flew off)

F: It was…

H: Peter Pan.

HP: Mmmhmm!

H: Still and strange fellow. Well, I gotta get to exams so…later! (walks out)

HP: Dumbledore will come soon.

D: Yes, he will.

HP, F, S M: Dumbledore!

D: Where? (looks around)

S: You!

D: Me?

M: Yes.

D: Oh.

F: I'm feeling faint. (faints)

K: (walks in) Hello. I'm Kit. I'll be your guide along with Harry Potter. (pours water on F)

S: It's Kit from…

M: From the Young Wizard Series.

F: Da whatty-whatty-what?

M: I'm _not _repeating myself!

F: Then I'm leaving. (walks off)

D: Hmmm…I know…NAKEY TIME!

S: What?

K: Ookaay! Let's go…NOW! (closes office door)

M: Weird.

Ma: Well, well, well. Look at what we have here. A bunch of Mudbloods and a few freaks!

K: (rolls eyes) Go away, Malfoy!

Ma: "Go away!" NERD! (laughs and walks off)

HP: Well, welcome to Hogwarts!

K: Yeah. (both walk off)

S: (turns to M) Very friendly here, aren't they?

M: Very. (both laugh and walk off)

Chapter 1 –Epilogue

S: You know something?

M: What?

S: We're still in our swimsuits.

M: Don't you think it's a _little inappropriate_ to be wearing bikinis in school?

S: A little…

(guy whistles)

Or a lot…

M: Sooo?

S: Oh well! Let's go to the Great Hall…There will be _so _many hotties there!

M: Yeah! (both giggle and run off)

To Be Continued…

**So, there's the first chapter! **_Yup, lovely little thing, ain't it? _**I couldn't agree more! **

**Oh, btw, anyone who would like to flame, the flames will be sent back by one of my favorite cartoon characters, Kimiko! (kudos to whoever said that first!)**

_(gives Emiko and odd look) You are so weird._

**I know! **

**Please read and review! **


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: We own nothing but the characters of Sam and Moira, all the other brilliance is..._**sadly**_...not ours..._

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Nothing But Sense Ch.2 

Scene: At the Girls Dorm

Characters: M:Moira S:Sam H:Hermione G:Ginny E:Emily HP: I'm not gonna say…guess. R: Ron

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M: I don't know about these robes…

S: Yeah they're…different.

H: You'll get used to them.

M: Do we _have_ to wear ties?

S: (Shudders)

H: 'fraid so.

E: (suddenly pops in) That is soooo out of style! Now if you don't mind I have another date to get to! (Disappears)

H: Okay…who-

G: (walks in from bathroom) Who the hell was she?!

M: That was Emily Magill.

S: Yup.

G: Nice girl.

S: Yeah…right.

G: Well I'm getting in the shower.

H: We're going to the boy's dorm…so we'll see you later.

G: (in shower) I'm a survivooor!!!Ooooooo!!!!!

Meanwhile in the boy's dorm….

HP: (yawns)What do you guys want?

R: Bloody Hell! It's 10:30! What you waking us up early for?!

H: (rolls eyes)We're giving them a tour…

M: And having some fun…

S: Yeah…fun…

HP: (backing away) Are you all feeling all right?

R: Bloody Hell! They're mad!

H: No we aren't!

S: Yeah we're just gonna kidnap Malfoy.

M: Mmmhm.

R: _BLOODY HELL_!

HP: (turns to ron)Will you _stop_ saying that!

R: Sorry…

M: So are you guys coming?

HP: Ummmm…Ron?

R: Well, um, well, um, well, um…

M: What's his problem?

R: Ughhh(drools while staring dazed)

H: Harry?

HP: Shock…went to his head. (Smacks ron)

R: wha-what?!

H: Are you coming?

R: Uhh..sure? (whispers to Harry) 'What are we doing?'

HP: (rolls eyes) 'Kidnapping Malfoy'

R: Oh, right.

H: Now, come on!

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_Sayuri: Please be kind and Review!_

**Emiko: Flames Welcome! **


	3. Chapter 2 Epilogue

Nothing But Sense Ch. 2 Epilogue

M: Weeeeeee!!!

S: Shut up!

M: sticks out tongue

To Be Continued…

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_Sayuri: Please forgive the foolishness..._

**Emiko: Eh...this is too short...it isn't a chapter**

_Sayuri: That's why I'm apologizing... _


	4. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: We own nothing but the characters of Sam and Moira, all the other brilliance is..._**sadly**_...not ours..._

Nothing But Sense Ch.3 

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Scene: Chasing Malfoy…hiding behind statues…

Characters: M:Moira S:Sam H:Hermione G:Ginny E:Emily HP: Hmm..I dunno R: Ron MA: Malfoy PP:Peter Pan

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H: There he is!

M: Waah Hoo!

H: Shhh!

S: Shhh!

HP: Shhh!

R: Bloody Hell!

M: Shhh!

MA: Come on…Crabbe? Goyle? Where'd those gits go…

H: Now! (Jumps from behind a statues and shoots spell)

Ma: Ahhhhh!!! (falls, stunned, to the ground)

M: Yesss! Got 'em!

S: Yeaaaa!

HP: Now what?

R: Bloody Hell!

H: We are going to drag him to an empty classroom and…

R: Bloody freakin' hell! Hermione is the one who thught this up?!

H: Well…

S: Actually…I sort of…well…

M: I maybe thought up…well…

HP: Well?

H S M: We all did! (grin)

H: Now help us dispose of the-err…carry him.

PP: (flys in) I can help!

H: (rolls eyes) Oh great, the boy who never grew up…

PP: What's _that_ supposed to mean?

H: It means you're annoying and immature! Now Harry help!

M: Yeah, all of you!

DRAGGING BODY TO AN EMPTY ROOM

S: Okay! All done, boy...he needs to lay off the donuts though…

R: Where are we?

H: Room of Requirement!

HP: Great.

PP: (flying around the ceiling) Woohooo!

H: He is such a five year old!

PP: I heard that! And I am not! (sticks out tongue)

S: Now Peter, dear, Hermione didn't mean that…

H: (under her breath) Yes, I did…

P: Well…alright…

S: I feel more like his mom than his girlfriend.

M: I would too. Why don't you dump him for Harry?

S: Hmmmm….

Meanwhile…

(Harry and Ron are tying and gagging Malfoy)

H: Great now we wait till he wakes up…

**TBC…**

_Sayuri here, well…another chapter up and finished! Please Review….Flames are welcome!_

_Plus I'll give you all cookies…XP_


	5. Chapter 3 Epilogue

_Disclaimer: We own nothing but the characters of Sam and Moira, all the other brilliance is..._**sadly**_...not ours..._

Nothing but Sense Ch.3 Epilogue

S: Peter! I…I mean WE need to talk!

PP: (Floats down) I know exactly what you're thinking…I wanted to talk too…

S: Good. (Sighs in relief)

PP: So when do we want to start having babies???


	6. Chapter 3 Epilogue's Epilogue

_Disclaimer: We own nothing but the characters of Sam and Moira, all the other brilliance is..._**sadly**_...not ours..._

Nothing but Sense Ch.3's Epilogue's Epilogue

S: (Walks out of the Room of Requirement stunned) I think Peter is growing up…

H: (snort) Now what on earth would ever give you that idea?!

M: Yeah, why?

S: Oh, you know he just wants to have kids with me now…

M: heeheeeheeheeeheeheee-

H: what in the ham sandwich is wrong with that boy?!

M: He's horny?

H: Mmm…must be.


	7. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: We own nothing but the characters of Sam and Moira, all the other brilliance is..._**sadly**_...not ours..._

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Nothing but Sense Ch.4

Scene: In the magical room of requirement, Malfoy is stirring…

Characters: The usual, come on people it's not that hard to remember…

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H: Bored, bored, bored, bored…

HP: He's waking up!

M: Everyone put these masks on!

S: (putting mask on) Why?

PP: (Flies around Sam's head)

M: They hide your identity!

H: Wow. This is complicated spell work! I could barely do this…Where did you get them?

M: Uhh…I made them.

H: How did you of all people do this???

M: Dunno, it was no biggy.

H: (no mumbling to herself) How, that spell…man, I couldn't…

Ma: (now fully awake) Where am I? Who are you? My father will hear about this!

H: (in Darth Vader voice) Malfoy…I am your father!!!!

Ma: But you're a girl.

H: Uh…well…this is a bit awkward.

S: (transformed into a cold heartless woman) Shut up boy!

Ma: Wow…you're hot! So you…married or something…

S: (rolls eyes) Actually, I'm engaged, to him. (points toward peter)

PP: Hi, sweety!

M: And I'm their adorable daughter!

Ma: Great, some freaky family kidnapped me for god knows why…and now they are al insane!!! I'm gonna die with a bunch of insane people!!!! I want my mum!

H: I know why we kidnapped you….

(Evil grins)

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30 minutes later:

Ma: What did you mad people do to me? (looks in mirror) Oh….nothing. Now please let me go, my dad will pay you money if you like….

H: Sure!

PP: Get out!

M S: Out! (Throws Malfoy out of the room)

HP: That was genius! Make him look like a girl to everyone but himself!

(Everyone laughs)

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_Sayuri Here! Please Review….I'm soo sad…_

_Plus I was thinking of re-writing this story, in an actual story format…and I would like to hear your opinions. _

**FLAME ME, I NEED TO COOK SOME HOT-DOGS!**


	8. Chapter 4 Epilogue

_Disclaimer: We own nothing but the characters of Sam and Moira, all the other brilliance is..._**sadly**_...not ours..._

HPHPHPHPHPHPHPHPHP

Nothing but Sense Ch.4 Epilogue

Scene: Two lone figures sit in front of the commons room fire…

Characters: S: Sam, PP: Peter Pan T:Tinkerbell

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S: Peter…

PP: Yes my love?

S: It's time for us to…to…

PP: To take our relationship to the next level?? Who's bed is more comfy?

S: NO! We are not going to sleep together…eww. We're breaking up!

PP: (Bottom lip starts trembling) You mean you're _dumping_ me?

S: Yup…basically. (Walks out of room)

PP: (Sobbing) She-She-She…..She…she…du-du-dumped…me?!

T: Tink, Tink, Tinkity.

PP: You're riht she is a B!#


	9. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer: We own nothing but the characters of Sam and Moira, all the other brilliance is..._**sadly**_...not ours..._

**Spoiler Warning!**

_Items mentioned in Book Six are mentioned in this chapter!_

**You are warned!**

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Nothing but Sense Ch.5

Scene: The Gryffindor Common Room…Saturday before Lunch…

Characters: HP: Harry Potter and R: Ron are laying wizards chess. H: Hermione and G: Ginny are knitting M: Moira busy reading and S: Sam is writing avidly on parchment.

_What do you think of that! What a fun way to explain a scene while refreshing your memories…._

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M: Sam, what are you writing?

S: An apology letter…

M: To who?

H: Who do you think?!

HP R: (begin laughing loudly)

S: Oh shut-up! (Throws book at Harry's head)

HP: Hey! We're trying to play chess here!

(A girl walks into the room)

M: Victoria?!

V: Erm, yeah.

S: What are you doing here?!

V:Well, I transferred…by boyfriend is here too.

M: Where? (Jumps up and frantically looks for him)

V: He's a ravenclaw.

S: So you finally hooked up with someone…

R: Checkmate! (Jumps onto table)

H: Ron, get off the table…

R: (Sticks out tongue) Make me!

H: Okay. Ron I want to spend the whole day with you, lets start with a picnic!

R: (wipes off drool) Alright!

(Ron and Hermione walk out)

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(Ron's head reappears)

R: The whole day TOGETHER!

V: Alrighty…

S: (Still scribbling madly) Don't even.

M: Aren't you done?

S: As a matter of fact...I am.

M: Lemme have it!

S: (shrugs) Okay.(Pulls out pie)

M: I didn't mean that!

(Ducks as Sam throws pie)

HP: Ginny you're awefully quiet…

G: (Frowns as she tries to refocus on her knitting) Oh, shut your pie hole!

S: (Somehow aquires anther pie) Pie? (Throws pie at Ginny)

G: (Now covered in pie) Why you….

HP: Someone's moody today!

G: That's it! I've had it with you Harry! (Slaps Harry and walks off)

S: I agree, Harry, she _is_ moody today.

M: Sam! Your letter to Peter has fallen into the fire!

S: (Looking innocently at letter) Oops, how _careless_ of me!

V: Well I'd better pop off to see my beau…

M: Bye Vicky!

S: Bye-Bye!

HP: (Grunts)

S: Now what…

M: We could…no. Well we…no…. Hmmm. I know we should…NO…

S: Okay you got nothing. So Harry our first dates in Hogsmeade right?

HP: Yeah…I just got to destroy a horxicruxe first.

S: What?! But Harry-poo you _promised_ that you'd save the world later. That I _Sam_ came first!

M: First off-When did they start dating and Second-Ewwww! But Harry if you promised…and besides us, girls _always_ come before the fate of the world.

S: And its not like anything _really_ bad could happen. Just millions of people dying and Lord Whatsisface taking over!

HP: (Totally brainwashed) You're right, nothing that bad will happen…

TO BE CONTINUED…

**Alright you lazy bums!**_ Front and center! Drop and give me twenty or at least a review….even a one liner would make me estatic! I would threaten to never update the story again…_**but frankly it's not that good of a story to actually threaten you with that**_…oh and by the way I know where you people live so…_

**REVIEW or ELSE!!!!!!MWAHAHAHAHA! **

_Even flames would be nice….._


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